Goodbye to An Abusive Relationship

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

Why does it have to hurt so badly when you’re still so in love? But when your relationship has become toxic. It simply can’t continue. Depressingly, abusive relationships happen all the time, leaving women and men feeling trapped in difficult situations. When many people hear that someone is in an unhealthy relationship, their first question is, “Why don’t they just leave?”, for me “why don’t they just leave?” is an ignorant question. Usually there will be one significant, early red flag, like you can’t understand why your partner won’t change or how they can simply ignore how you feel or keep wonder if they ever truly loved you. You’ve tried everything to save your relationship, but nothing’s worked. You know it’s time to end it, yet the thought of being alone petrifies you 

“The repeated, random and habitual use of intimidation to control a partner or if you are forced to alter your behaviour because you are frightened, you are being abused.”

People of all races, classes, and education levels can get caught up in relationships that turns violent, and it's difficult for all of them to find a way out. Getting out of an abusive relationship is much harder than "just leaving" but  no matter how dire a relationship may seem, there's always an escape route to a better life. 

• Find Healthy Support. If you find yourself in a toxic relationship and have made the courageous decision that you need to get out of it, the first step is to find a healthy support. Remember: you don’t have to do this alone. finding positive friends and family or groups who can support or help you identify a toxic relationship in the first place and also can help guide you safely out of the relationship. In the process, you can work to build up your self-esteem, identify and establish the personal boundaries you want to set going forward, and cultivate healthier patterns for intimacy in the future.

• Realize That You Deserve Better. Sometimes, loving someone just isn’t enough if you aren’t receiving the same love in return. It’s like putting work into an old dysfunctional car. No matter how much sweat and tears you put into it, it will never be the same again. The time you waste on the wrong person prevents the right person from coming your way. Just believe that something much better is out there for you.You may not know who they are, or when they will come, but they are waiting on you to let go so that they can come into your life.

•  Learning To Let Go. Letting go of someone you care about is definitely a difficult thing to do. Know that you can find the strength to get yourself out of it and move on. It can be tempting to want the person to be back in your life, but remember that you came to this decision after a long, thoughtful process. Stick to your decision and remember that it was made to better you and your life.

• Accept That It Will Hurt. Release the pain. Don’t hold it in. Sometimes, we are expected to be strong when we’re dealing with tough situations. But the more we tried to hold in my pain and be strong, the worse we felt, and we eventually stressed ourself out. Cry if you want to, allow the tears to keep falling until they couldn’t fall any longer. Instead of trying to be strong, crying can help with the healing process. Beside, the lessons you learn along the way will allow you to grow and become a better person. The pain will not last forever. Time is your best friend.

Your life isn’t over. Taking back control begins with you. Everyone needs help at one time or another. You don’t have to go through this alone. If you’re in a toxic relationship, there are people that can help you. Seeking help from your loved ones or a professional can help you get back on your feet. Realize that you deserve better, it may seem unimaginable right now, but it’s definitely possible. If you make the choice today, you are one step closer to a happier tomorrow. Now it’s time for you to believe in yourself. Tell yourself that today starts the healing process. From now on, you will work toward living the amazing life you deserve.

With love,
Angie