Swimming Against the Wave

Nothing lasts forever, so I've heard.
We choose to think that we are deep in love, so when we stumble upon obstacles far beyond our league, we have nothing to fear. With misty missions, you tell me, "Together, we will conquer it all."

We fail to understand, that we are swimming against the wave. We are fighting the entire universe.
So that's how I get it, a limit works in hurtful ways; We keep believing in forever, but forever is too long and uncertain, for our bones and flesh are rusting, eaten by time and space.

We are never gonna make it to the shore.
The magic between us is gone. Someone once told me that some people will stay, but some people will not: I thought you were the one who was going to stay through thick and thin, but apparently you’re not.

By then, I swallow the fact that
the forces put a limit to us,
so we know when to stop trying.
(And eventually, hurting.)
Sadly, loving you with all my heart and soul will never be enough for you. And now I realize it's the fear of loving and being loved
that still remains to torture the heart this way.
it is now a game over; you hold all the cards.
and it doesn't take long—for you to break my heart—once you are inside


First paragraph adopted from
—R. Margareth

Unidentified Sadness

People come and go really fast, leaving a bad scars but you keep trying and trying until one day  there is a time that you're feeling so down.
Even the sadness you feel is something that you can't explain. You know that tears could fix nothing and thing just doesnt work, eventho you have try your best.. Put much effort on it and believe that everything will run as what you have expected before but then time flies and tell you that you are wrong, all that efforts are just nothing. At the end of the day you realise that you are alone you feel lonely. No one really care about it.

At that moment, you try to find someone..
Scrolling down your friend lists and groups, and considering if maybe... one of them.. or maybe just one person.. could hear what you really feel..

But then, you end up having nothing, you find no one.
Not because you cant find a close one, but it's more because you couldn't find someone that you trust for that feeling.. for that story..
Or...
You know that they won't see your "things" as a matter or in other word they dont really care about you

Even your family, even your squad, or even they who once said love and always said would always be there for you..
And at that point of time, you realize..
You literally are lonely.

For this several days, i have been through some shits. Things that i expect doesnt work and failed in several goals.
Regret everything i have ever done and judge myself that im stupid.
Im trying to trust, trying to wait but the end i just get hurt and hurts. Honestly, I want to stop but I don't know why I can't, my mind always say you can try it once more time then if it doesn't work you stop but my heart say stop it or you will get hurt again.
Am I sad? Nahh... I don't think so, I just don't understand my own self, Im just feeling everything is too complicated, I'm just denying my self, I'm just too weak to say no and I'm just trying to hold something that I supposed to let it go.

God knows I'm trying for you,

Samantha

Life Time Zone

Do you think you are going nowhere in Life? Stopp! And take a breathe deep
Everyone was created for some good purpose, no one is created for bad purpose.
Look, someone is graduated at 22 but need to wait for 6 years for job
Someone is became CEO at 25 and die at 50 while other became CEO at age 50 and lived to 90. Someone is still single while someone else got married and maybe this one is little bit funny but Obama retires at 55 while Trumps became US President at 70. Isn't it funny if we know the fact?
Basically, everything in this world works based on their Time Zone.
People around you might seem go ahead you or maybe behind you but everyone absolutely is running their own race in their own time.
For me, life is about waiting for the right momment to act. You are not too late nor too early, remember we all are just moving on our path and based on our own time zone.
Maybe some of us always questioning "when is the right momment" but remember again we are very on time on our way and time zone.

Have nice day,

Angie. 

How to Deal with Having Big Boobs

Alright, first off all

I am not trying to brag or anything, the whole point of this post is to let girls with smaller boobs know that having boobs is not always as awesome as it looks.
I am not complaining, (I do (complain) a lot, by the way, but I have learnt to be grateful with what I have).

Boobs. They come in all different sizes and shapes:

I have always had boobs, like no kidding, it’s weird, if you saw pictures of me on instagram or facebook you'd understand 🙄 Of course, I wasn’t born with huge ass boobs. I just remember being uncomfortable taking my shirt off as a kid when I would go swimming with my friends, especially, when I was around the age of 12 and 13. A lot of my friends came up to me and told me how lucky I was to have “big tits” and telling me how it isn’t fair that I got them so fast. I guess it was a compliment but all I wanted to do is get a boobs reduction, trust me i was really depressed when people say like that. I just wanted to rip them off my chest. I hated them. It wasn’t because I found them ugly or because they looked bad but mostly because I just really didn’t want to be known as “the girl with big boobs” mostly when you live in Indo, arrrghh you will really get stressed because everytime you walk alone you always get a catcalling from street. That suxxx bruhh really suxxx. At that age, I thought a lot about boys, which was something completely normal for a tween, but I feared that they would only like me for my rack, I was scared that they would tell me bullshit in order to get with me and sadly I still have these trust issues today. I looked way older than I was. I spent a lot of my time on the beach with my shirt on, ESPECIALLY when the beach was crowded because I was afraid that a creepy man would stare at me like I was a piece of fresh meat (this happened to me so many times, it’s actually fucked up).
Ohh and YOU GUYS RUNNING WITH BOOBS IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING, you have no idea how uncomfortable it is, yes, even with a sports bra on plus when you go to the gym the trainer always try to do something just to look at my boobs, fuck it.
A lot of people, think that having big boobs is dope because you get to seduce people and get free stuff, like I don’t know if it actually works because I have never tried but, dude, no, that sounds so bad to me, I personally would never do that. One more thing, Clothes. I have learned to never buy a shirt or a bathing suit without trying it on, I get very sad when I see such an amazing piece in a store and when I try it on and it either looks completely deformed or too revealing, too sexy. I also hate going shopping for bikinis or bras because all the cute stuff don’t fit and all the things that do, are just ugly. I need extra size for my breast part
Lastly, “the glance and wink”… Ladies we all know that one glance and wink you know the one where you talk to someone and you catch them looking down at your boobs for like half a second and it makes you real uncomfortable real fast, yeah that one. The amount of people of have glanced down at my chest, from teenage boys to adults, from teachers (yes teachers) to someone’s grandpa. It is so creepy, I can’t even describe the feeling, you just want to hide forever. It is so terrible. EWW
Even when i was at school most of my guy friend try to touch it like what the fuck is wrong, i just hate everything they do when it's related to my boobs


Anyway, I have learnt to appreciate my babies more now and despite all of the inconvenience of having big boobs there are still dope things about having them, for example, you give the best hugs and your friends use them as a pillow and plus you don’t have to wear those very uncomfortable push up bras and well yeah you dont have to do extra workout haha. And for all my girls who have small titties, y’all are still beautiful and you don’t have to have a huge rack to be sexy and remember you get to wear the cutest bikinis, you don’t have to hold your boobs when there is a huge speed bump and you can run with ease. There is a perk in everything. We always want what we don’t have and at the end of the day, if you think about it, the size of boobies doesn’t really matter, as long as you feel confidence with your self everything will look perfectly fine

TIPS TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BOOBIES.

Stretch Marks: It’s all good if you have them, don’t be ashamed, but if you don’t want more, put some ALMOND OIL on your boobs after showering (you can look it up on google on how to put it)
DON’T GO TO SLEEP WITH YOUR BRA ON GIRL. Just don’t.

Love your own tits,

Angie