I jump and dive into the beautiful calming ocean water leading into infinity
At first, there is a sense of excitement, mysterious, calm and clarity with the gentle movement of the wave
But after swimming for a little longer, my heart starts beating faster and my muscle screams in pain
And I fight to catch a single breath, even though my lung is already full of water
In the end, I have to choose
To surrender and drown, or
To keep fighting until I get to the shore
And that, my dear, is my feeling right now
And I don't want you to see or feel my internal sorrow
but even then,
I can't lie that
I want to hold your hand
I want to spend time with you
But you are far away and nowhere to be found
Loving you was like sinking, like drowning
and back again to the surface
And I don't know what to do
I've been holding onto you
for far too long
I've been holding onto this dream
that we once shared for far too long
Eventually, this needs and end
And I chose to slowly release me unto the hope of tomorrow
the obscurity between us
Perhaps it's the only way
for us to be the better version
to love each other the way we need to be loved
Till next time,
Angie
