Tips to Build Self-Confidence

Back when I was 12 years old, when I first moved to Jogja, I felt unworthy and had zero self-confidence because I was bit different than my friends and always get bullied. As the time flies, I learned how to built my self-confidence because I realized that it is important and very helpful for self development. It took a long time but definitely well-worth the effort!

For me self-confidence is all about knowing that you are good, worthy and capable in facing life problems. Self-confidence can change your whole life to be better because you're not just improving your life quality but you can also inspire others. 

To build self-confidence we need to :

1. Make self care a priority. I personally think that self-confidence depends on a combination of good physical health, emotional health and social health. Don't forget to have fun, do exercise, eating, shopping, sleeping or whatever that could make yourself happy and comfortable. 

Dress the way you want to feel, because when you're feeling at your best physically, you’ll naturally feel more confident about yourself.

2.  Evaluating your inner circle, including friends and family. It will help you to stay away from negativity and bring on the positivity. It does not mean you have to close to everyone but it means you need to create your own personal boundaries. It means you are able to choose who you want to enter your life. Surrounds yourself with positive people who wants to see you grow up!

3. The last, challenge yourself! Try doing things that your brain tells you that you can’t. Tell yourself it’s just a trial and see what's the result. From that you might learn that making some mistakes isn’t as bad as you thought. And each time you move forward you can gain more confidence in yourself.

The key is keep on learning  and practicing and you'll find your self-confidence building apace.

With love, 

Angie 

Is It The Time?

Sometimes it is late at night when my brain drifts toward the thoughts of you that I try to avoid. Other times a memory is triggered. It could be something as simple as driving past your street that I used to frequent or hearing a song that you recommend. Whatever it may be, you always cross my mind since the day we first met, and I think it is safe to say that you will always hold a special place in my heart.

The conversation was easy and genuine with you the afternoon we met eventho I was a little bit shy, I had no idea why I finally said yes to met you, the next day you invited me to come over, and I had no clue why I said yes easily too. We talked about a lot of thing, you impressed me with your skill, with the idea in your mind about nature, astrology and many things more. I trully had zero epectations of what we would become, so when we were still hanging out couple weeks later, it was clear that I cared about you way more than I ever thought I would, and I still do.

You met me during the hardest time of the year when I could not trust anyone anymore. You made me laugh in a way nobody else could. You had the ability to make everything fun. I just hope that your memories of me are just as positive as my memories of you. Because even now, after the sudden end, I have zero regrets and I would do it all over again. I wish I could be everything you love, like your collection of music instrument. It's just hard not to miss you after all, you know? I miss the random conversation about anything that we used to talk, I miss your cheesy jokes, I miss the way you kissed me, I guess, I miss everything about you.

I do not know if you will ever read this, but if you do I want you to know that I like you a lot ever since I met you, I feel like we had a connection that words could not describe it and I want you to know that you meant to me, you changed me into a better version of me and how thankful I am to have had the time together we did. I hold a hope that maybe eventually we will reconnect and maybe we can both be what each other want.


I am lost after all,
I guess I am letting go

~ Angie

Uncertainity

Siapa yang meninggalkan siapa? Siapa yang melukai siapa?

Sebenarnya dari awal saya paham bahwa hubungan tak terikat pasti berakhir menyakitkan, entah hari ini, besok, lusa, minggu depan, bulan depan, atau tahun depan. Bahkan siap tak siap saya harus siap untuk meninggalkan atau lebih mirisnya ditinggalkan

Saya berfikir, atas dasar apa saya harus marah karena sesorang menyukaimu, atau atas dasar apa saya marah jika suatu saat nanti kamu meninggalkan saya, padahal sejatinya kamu bukan milik saya. 

Ada hal yang ingin saya perjuangkan dari hubungan ini, yaitu kamu. Saya yakin hubungan ini hanya sebatas pertemanan untukmu, pertemanan yang membawa saya pada ketidakpastian. 

Mungkin saya yang salah, tidak seharusnya saya mengambil keputusan terlalu cepat. Karena yang dekat belum tentu dekat, yang saya anggap menyayangi belum tentu beneran sayang. 

Untuk kalian yang membaca ini, 

Percayalah dalam ketidakpastian selalu ada kepastian yaitu siap untuk ditinggalkan. 

For here I am, dying until my spirit weary, thinking until my head almost explode. Maybe, we are just not meant to be together 

Mirror Talk, I Wish I Could See You

Some days I remember the way you broke me down, yet I miss you anyway because I have to let you go when I am currently loving you at the most 💔. I don’t quite understand it myself, I feel a little bit lighter now that I can little by little stop re-reading our old message. I guess that some way, somehow, I still value the lighter moments like the times I could see your smile or hear your voice even I have never had a single chance to see you in real life. I still have yet to master the art of forgetting. I don’t think I ever will, but I digress. I want to thank you. You filled my nights with a level of sadness I never felt before but I never regret the decision I made of loving you. And now that you’re gone, there are people filling the empty spaces you’ve left that love me better than you ever did. They caress my heart lovingly, unlike you who dropped it carelessly even though I completely understand the reason. Losing you brought me to them, so I want to say thank you. And even if you might not care much for me these days, I still wish you the best.
I'm here wishing you an earlier birthday wishes, I hope you enjoy your big day, full of happiness and love. I am now too afraid to text you anymore, too much plan I have made for that, too much time I spent to wrote a letter for you but it's okay.
Maybe in some other lifetime. Or somewhere down the road we might meet up at the right time and I will give you the letter I have wrote. Have a good life :)

Sincerely,
Samantha

A Shattered Soul

For you who have gone :
I miss you. I really do in the sense I never had you in real life, not even a second. I never felt your lips touch mine, or your heart beat loudly as I lay on your chest. These are things I've known I'll never be whole without you - things that leave me missing you. Missing the thought of what we could have been. Missing what we never were
You know what? You have made me lose half of my spirit, you have made me think I am worthless but it's okay, I completly understand the reason you are gone.

On the nights that I miss you the most, I will think about you. I will think all of you, from the times you said "apa kabar" to the times you left me
On the nights that I miss you the most, I will remind myself that whatever is happening right now, is supposed to be happening right now
On the nights that I miss you the most, I willl find my strength
I will feel
I will cry
I will scream
I will go to the laboratory doing another project
I will be out of breath
I will write a new narrative
I will find acceptance alongside hope
I will find my breathe
I will let myself be where I am - fully
I will remind myself that morning will be here soon and I will have come one more day closer to the nights where I no longer miss you

What Is Morning After Pills?

Remember when I said that Indonesia needs sex education badly? Well, today I’m going to sharing about emergency contraceptive. 

Previously I had done a small interview with some random friend and the result is 14 out of 20 friends with the age between 18-25 years old age do not know what the emergency contraception is :(

Okay, now we get into the topic of our conversation

Jadi, a contraceptive emergency commonly known as Plan B or Morning After Pills. Sesuai namanya, alat kontrasepsi ini hanya digunakan ketika keadaan darurat. Apasih keadaan darurat itu? Keadaan Darurat  memang kemungkinannya sangat kecil tapi tetap ada, nah contohnya kontrasepsi yang digunakan gagal (kondom rusak/bocor or maybe IUD lepas) atau ketika ejakulasi secara tidak sengaja didalam vagina atau berhubungan sex tanpa kontrasepsi. Untuk mengingatkan lagi, emergency kontrasepsi ini idak digunakan secara rutin, jadi hanya digunakan ketika benar-benar dalam keadaan darurat.

Penting ga sih pakai emergency contraceptive ini? Nah, karna aku Pro-Life jadi buat aku ini penting daripada harus aborsi karena unwanted pregnancy unless kalian memang sudah siap punya anak dan menginkan anak. Emergency contraceptive ini last resort untuk mencegah terjadinya pembuahan yang berakibat pada kehamilan. Fungsinya apa? Fungsinya adalah untuk mengundur waktu dilepaskannya sel telur dari ovarium, dan membuat sel telur tidak menempel di dinding rahim (yang kemudian berkembang menjadi zigot, lalu janin)

Menurut  beberapa sumber, kontrasepsi darurat mengandung  hormone Levonogestrel yang berfungsi mencegah terjadinya ovulasi. Hormone ini juga bisa membuat perubahan terhadap dinding rahim yang ada di serviks, sehingga membuat sel sperma lebih susah masuk ke rahim dan membuat telur yang sudah dibuahi lebih susah untuk menempel ke dinding rahim.

Lalu, bagaimana cara mengonsumsi Morning After Pills?

Setahu aku dari info yang aku dapat, Morning After Pills sangat dianjurkan untuk dikonsumsi tidak lebih dari 72 jam (3 hari) setelah berhubungan sex, bahkan it would be better to consume it less than 48 hours after doing sex. Why? Karena semakin lama dikonsumsi setalah berhubungan seks tanpa protector maka semakin menurun juga efektivitasnya.

Dimana bisa membeli Morning After pills?

Seharusnya, bisa dibeli di apotek terdekat. Karena, based on my experience ketika aku  di Bali dan aku iseng tanya di salah satu apotek mereka dengan gampang memberi beberapa pilihan xD. Morning After Pills ini tidak membutuhkan prescription dari dokter, tapi entahlah masih banyak apotek yang meminta surat dokter dan tidak dipajang di etalase. Miris kan L padahal metode kontrasepsi ini bisa menurunkan tingkat aborsi karena unwanted pregnancy eh malah dibata-batasi (I’m so speechless).

Apa saja efek samping dari Morning After Pills? Yang paling sering itu mual, muntah, diare dan kram perut bahkan kadang bisa menunda menstruasi bisa juga membuat menstruasi lebih cepat (dalam siklus setelah mengonsumsi Plan B)

Berapa sih harga Morning After Pills? Take it cool, Morning After Pills is not as expensive as abortion pills ;) Harga normalnya 45.000 – 60.000 tapi terkadang ada yang jual lebih dari 100.000, tergantung kalian beli dimana sih biasanya.

Nah, aku percaya postingan aku kali ini agak sedikit kontroversial because first aku baru berumur 18 tahun dan I’m sure most of you wondering aku tahu hal-hal begini darimana or maybe most of you bahkan ngejudge I’m bitchy or whatever but dude, wake up. Ada banyak buku yang mengajarkan tentang sex edukasi (biasanya versi English lebih lengkap, well aku belum pernah baca yang versi Indonesia sih wkwk), karena sex edukasi buat aku itu very important. You’ll know how your body work so it is definetly not a taboo things and tidak membuat kalian jadi dosa ketika kalian mempelajarinya

Second, pasti banyak yang berdalih kalau dengan adanya Morning After Pills bisa bikin kita seenaknya berhubungan sexual, tapi to be honest aja toh manfaat kedepan jauh lebih besar daripada sekedar masalah moral ;) lagipula Indonesia masih memiliki banyak masalah dari sekedar masalah-masalah moral yang buat aku is not a big deal.

Dengan adanya Morning After Pills, banyak pihak yang bisa mencegah agar tidak harus menanggung sakitnya abortion. Because abortion is not the last resort to stop unwanted pregnancy :)