Grow Through What You Go Through

Life isn’t always about butterflies and rainbows. This is something we all know painfully well. Mistakes are made but mistakes bring learning and learning shapes your character.  Change and growth go hand-in-hand. If you are not growing, you are not going anywhere. Life is all about hills and valleys. The valleys make the hills seem that much bigger and better. Bad circumtances are never easy to go through. I know nobody enjoys going through life’s storms. Bad things happen but we can look life’s trials in two ways. One involves letting hurt and disappoint overtake us and make us into bitter people. Or, we can look at them as an opportunity to improve, learn and have a changer of heart and grow. The important thing to remember is that you are going through them, means that you will come out on the other side and having grown stronger. Our darkest storms and most painful mistakes can turn into our greatest victory.

Goodbye to An Abusive Relationship

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

Why does it have to hurt so badly when you’re still so in love? But when your relationship has become toxic. It simply can’t continue. Depressingly, abusive relationships happen all the time, leaving women and men feeling trapped in difficult situations. When many people hear that someone is in an unhealthy relationship, their first question is, “Why don’t they just leave?”, for me “why don’t they just leave?” is an ignorant question. Usually there will be one significant, early red flag, like you can’t understand why your partner won’t change or how they can simply ignore how you feel or keep wonder if they ever truly loved you. You’ve tried everything to save your relationship, but nothing’s worked. You know it’s time to end it, yet the thought of being alone petrifies you 

“The repeated, random and habitual use of intimidation to control a partner or if you are forced to alter your behaviour because you are frightened, you are being abused.”

People of all races, classes, and education levels can get caught up in relationships that turns violent, and it's difficult for all of them to find a way out. Getting out of an abusive relationship is much harder than "just leaving" but  no matter how dire a relationship may seem, there's always an escape route to a better life. 

• Find Healthy Support. If you find yourself in a toxic relationship and have made the courageous decision that you need to get out of it, the first step is to find a healthy support. Remember: you don’t have to do this alone. finding positive friends and family or groups who can support or help you identify a toxic relationship in the first place and also can help guide you safely out of the relationship. In the process, you can work to build up your self-esteem, identify and establish the personal boundaries you want to set going forward, and cultivate healthier patterns for intimacy in the future.

• Realize That You Deserve Better. Sometimes, loving someone just isn’t enough if you aren’t receiving the same love in return. It’s like putting work into an old dysfunctional car. No matter how much sweat and tears you put into it, it will never be the same again. The time you waste on the wrong person prevents the right person from coming your way. Just believe that something much better is out there for you.You may not know who they are, or when they will come, but they are waiting on you to let go so that they can come into your life.

•  Learning To Let Go. Letting go of someone you care about is definitely a difficult thing to do. Know that you can find the strength to get yourself out of it and move on. It can be tempting to want the person to be back in your life, but remember that you came to this decision after a long, thoughtful process. Stick to your decision and remember that it was made to better you and your life.

• Accept That It Will Hurt. Release the pain. Don’t hold it in. Sometimes, we are expected to be strong when we’re dealing with tough situations. But the more we tried to hold in my pain and be strong, the worse we felt, and we eventually stressed ourself out. Cry if you want to, allow the tears to keep falling until they couldn’t fall any longer. Instead of trying to be strong, crying can help with the healing process. Beside, the lessons you learn along the way will allow you to grow and become a better person. The pain will not last forever. Time is your best friend.

Your life isn’t over. Taking back control begins with you. Everyone needs help at one time or another. You don’t have to go through this alone. If you’re in a toxic relationship, there are people that can help you. Seeking help from your loved ones or a professional can help you get back on your feet. Realize that you deserve better, it may seem unimaginable right now, but it’s definitely possible. If you make the choice today, you are one step closer to a happier tomorrow. Now it’s time for you to believe in yourself. Tell yourself that today starts the healing process. From now on, you will work toward living the amazing life you deserve.

With love,
Angie

Does Love Hurt?

Here we are, at the end of January. I've had perfect days and memories to close this month and ready to face February, the month dedicated to love, Cupid's arrow, red roses, dark chocolate and pink cupcakes.

I have so many thoughts and wanted to write more but I was busy enjoying my holiday in Pacitamn and Malaysia but tonight I will try to write down some of my thoughts before I forgot them again.

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"When you fall in love and you expect something from that person and you don't get it, you will get hurt. That's why don't fall in love. Do not fall in love easily"

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I still remember the advice my friend gave me the night before I leave KL, it was quiet shocking to hear his thoughts but somehow he got it right. 

I spent the whole night thinking about does love hurt? how does love supposed to work? is true love real? do we need love to be alive? and much more question related to love life logic.

I often heard a lot of people said that "love hurts" and I used to follow it but through all the highs, lows and lessons, love has brought me to a conclusion that 

"Love does not hurt, a person that doesn't know how to love hurts you"

For me love is the most amazing thing in the world, the most incredible feeling I could ever feel but love life sometimes become 'bitch'. People lie, cheat and betray our trust then we become bitter, blame love and losing hope in love

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I know how it feels to be broken, been there and experienced that kind of pain, loving someone way too much than I love myself, ended up breaking apart and found out I've been cheated the whole time, I lose myself trying to hold on to that person who does not care at all about my feelings and since then I lose my hope in love

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Now, as the times flies and I grow older I realized sometimes love can be hurtful if I forget to balance it with logic mind and when I can not control or handle my emotion about failure relationship and failure expectation

"Love is not supposed to hurt. If it does then it is absolutely not love"

What hurts is loneliness, rejection, losing someone and enviness but not with love. Love is the the thing that could covers up the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again, love is the only thing that does not hurt in this world. 

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In honor of Valentine's month, I wanna say love can make you happy in a way you have never been happy before. Always remember that when love is real, it does not lie, it does not cheat, it does not pretend, it does not hurt you or make you feel unwanted. It is supposed to heals your broken parts, lifts you up and cure all your worries

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And finally a little bit advice, do not ever change yourself just to make someone love you. Be yourself and let the right one falls for you.

"Someone who trully loves you sees how hard you can be handle, how moody you can get, how mess you can be and how annoying you can be but still wants you"

Good luck 💋 ,
Angie

Self Control in Anger

Last Friday at uni there was a girl did dumb things, being so meant and sarcastic in fact she has nothing to show off and it makes her looks more disgusting by her behaviour.

Fast forward one of my friend got really angry, shouted at her inside the faculty and was about to punch her, I tried to calmed my friend down but actually it bothered me too for about half an hour as I thought of things I could have fired back at her, for godsake that time I was about to punched her or slap her because inside of me was really boiling but I remembered one of my resolutions that I wrote at the end of 2018. It said "do good, think good, take positive in everything"

It was not easy to control my emotion when I am angry, you can ask people around me of how I behaved when I was in highschool and middleschool, I was really temperament, physical fighting was my favourite way to solve the problem and to finish the anger.

Until one day I realized I was spending all this time and energy on the person that I couldn’t control, rather than concentrating on how I could react that would save me all this inner torment and hatred.

After so many things happend, I learnt that I can’t control how other people behave but I can control my respond to it all. So I came to the point where self and emotions control is really important and I started to learn how to control my emotions everytime I feel boiling inside.

One of the most important pieces of advice I could give for facing someone you want to punch in the face is Take A Breath, deep breathing releases tension, this could help you to clear your mind, and react from your positive, true self. For example, last friday, I stayed quiet and did my best to inhale and exhale slowly, to remind my self that I can't control people behaviour and to let go the idea of punching her in the face.

Second advice is Talk Less and Learn to Appreciate Silence, don’t fall into an unnecessary argument or fighting just because you feel angry, don't say or do things you'll regret in 5 minutes later. Again, exhale-inhale, a moment of silence in a moment of anger, can save you from a hundred moments of regret.

The third advice is Try to Keep the Positivity in Mind. The positivity you create inside your mind will help you move beyond the negativity around you. Let your positivity empower you to think kindly of others, speak kindly to others, and do kind things for others.  Kindness always makes a difference. Beside, not getting the cops called on you for punching someone in the face is a big plus ;)

With love,

Angie