People come and go really fast, leaving a bad scars but you keep trying and trying until one day there is a time that you're feeling so down.
Even the sadness you feel is something that you can't explain. You know that tears could fix nothing and thing just doesnt work, eventho you have try your best.. Put much effort on it and believe that everything will run as what you have expected before but then time flies and tell you that you are wrong, all that efforts are just nothing. At the end of the day you realise that you are alone you feel lonely. No one really care about it.
At that moment, you try to find someone..
Scrolling down your friend lists and groups, and considering if maybe... one of them.. or maybe just one person.. could hear what you really feel..
But then, you end up having nothing, you find no one.
Not because you cant find a close one, but it's more because you couldn't find someone that you trust for that feeling.. for that story..
Or...
You know that they won't see your "things" as a matter or in other word they dont really care about you
Even your family, even your squad, or even they who once said love and always said would always be there for you..
And at that point of time, you realize..
You literally are lonely.
For this several days, i have been through some shits. Things that i expect doesnt work and failed in several goals.
Regret everything i have ever done and judge myself that im stupid.
Im trying to trust, trying to wait but the end i just get hurt and hurts. Honestly, I want to stop but I don't know why I can't, my mind always say you can try it once more time then if it doesn't work you stop but my heart say stop it or you will get hurt again.
Am I sad? Nahh... I don't think so, I just don't understand my own self, Im just feeling everything is too complicated, I'm just denying my self, I'm just too weak to say no and I'm just trying to hold something that I supposed to let it go.
God knows I'm trying for you,
Samantha
Even the sadness you feel is something that you can't explain. You know that tears could fix nothing and thing just doesnt work, eventho you have try your best.. Put much effort on it and believe that everything will run as what you have expected before but then time flies and tell you that you are wrong, all that efforts are just nothing. At the end of the day you realise that you are alone you feel lonely. No one really care about it.
At that moment, you try to find someone..
Scrolling down your friend lists and groups, and considering if maybe... one of them.. or maybe just one person.. could hear what you really feel..
But then, you end up having nothing, you find no one.
Not because you cant find a close one, but it's more because you couldn't find someone that you trust for that feeling.. for that story..
Or...
You know that they won't see your "things" as a matter or in other word they dont really care about you
Even your family, even your squad, or even they who once said love and always said would always be there for you..
And at that point of time, you realize..
You literally are lonely.
For this several days, i have been through some shits. Things that i expect doesnt work and failed in several goals.
Regret everything i have ever done and judge myself that im stupid.
Im trying to trust, trying to wait but the end i just get hurt and hurts. Honestly, I want to stop but I don't know why I can't, my mind always say you can try it once more time then if it doesn't work you stop but my heart say stop it or you will get hurt again.
Am I sad? Nahh... I don't think so, I just don't understand my own self, Im just feeling everything is too complicated, I'm just denying my self, I'm just too weak to say no and I'm just trying to hold something that I supposed to let it go.
God knows I'm trying for you,
Samantha
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