Sometimes i feel like i missed something but i dunno what kind of things that i missed of... Since that whole 2 months after i left HdT, my life is totally change, i guess i enjoy my life now than before. Everything has change, my life, my society, my school, my friends and even my family life, i love what i have now and it's worth for me. Since i left HdT (this is the last word i spell the name of HdT) i got some pelajaran berharga yang i never get when i stay there and also i can explore everything with freedomness, responsible and limitation.
For the first week after leaving HdT i feel like i dont even want to remember what happen to me in the last 3 years, even the sweetest memories, for me they were too dangerous untuk diingat, it hurts me so much and i just want to forget all bout it. After a long survive time and recovery time from the shock big changes finally i knew what happend to me before, now or after actually is in a settings. Im only a players in my life, the changes maybe will be better or worst but everything depends on me and depends how i face every problem and re-setting my mind----like wut i said bcuz im a players and an actress in my life and im the only one who know my path and my journey.
Am i feel happy now? Yeah, this new life make me smile and laugh everyday. Eventhough, sometimes when i want to take sleep i cry and i just realized how dumb i was and how idiot i was, honestly that small video cross my mind everyday starting aku bolos sekolah, lying, pemalas and many other things which made me rusak. Aku cuma berpikir why i did that stupid things without thinking? I want to fuck my mind and my brain. Sometimes i wonder, why sud i need that well, black past? But now i've found the answer, black past (masa lalu suram)yang aku jalani dulu like semangat buat aku untuk hidup lebih baik like now. I cant be like who i am now if i dont have that black future, everythings is in set and i believe that. For me my past is the only thing which make me could open a new blank page for start a new life with a better style dimana in that blank page actualy there's a hidden future. So i said thank you for my past yang sudah helping me to find who i am, im not going back to the last 'Angel' but i'll keep moving on and struggling for what i want. Here nobody can ask me to do what i dont want to do, and for my special Past now i found who you trully are "The Past Is The Hidden Future".
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